Instagram.

Me:*posts selfie*

Him:*likes selfie and then starts following me*

Him: *likes 5 other of my pics*

Me: Obviously he wants the d. 

That awkward moment you find out one of your daily vitamins is a natural aphrodisiac.

So I just found out one of the pills I take EVERYDAY has been used as a natural aphrodisiac for men in some cultures. So that’s why I’m horny all the time! But then again I just started taking this two months ago so that doesn’t explain the other horny years of my life. 

femburton:

when you at church with your husband and you see his ex

TBH I don’t get my sudden jump in popularity.

I gained a lot of followers in the last week, I haven’t even been on like that. I was sitting here waiting for half of them to unfollow me and every time I came back it was more. Like I’m sitting here like “Did I post something and completely forget about it?” But thanks for the love ya’ll *britney spears voice*

Random thought #ILOSTCOUNTWHATEVER

Nothing annoys me more than when insecure people try to act like they’re not insecure like, “Girl, You aren’t fooling anyone!” 

It’s like the girls that are like “I’m so pretty tho” but say it in the form of a question and then they’re looking at you with those desperate ass eyes like please confirm that I’m pretty. Ugghh

It’s just tacky 

I think I’m a Beyonce Stan.

Because I was dead standing and screaming like I knew her personally. I guess that’s what happens once you see her live in concert. You enter just a fan, you leave a worshipper and a level 4 beyhive member. 

versaceslut:

flawless ended and she moved on to another song instead of bringing out nicki

"MTV, Welcome to My World"

This “Artist to Watch” Dude is doing entirely too much.

He can go. I’m over him. 

coconutoil97:

*waits to see if beyonce says onika*

image

I. WOULD. DIE. LITERALLY. 

I don’t want to live in a world where Katy Perry beat Beyonce